


Record/Record

by presidentbees



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Giftstuck 2015, Zombie Apocalypse, homestuck secret santa 2015, in which dave talks to a recording device and tries to be cool about it, sorry cool kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:28:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5510219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/presidentbees/pseuds/presidentbees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>its the end of the world and dave strider is doing his civil duty to record the whole thing. seriously just fuck this shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Record/Record

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mogseltof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mogseltof/gifts).



well shit guys it finally happened. the word is going to end in a ball of fire and zombies and ive got a bird eye view from my apartment window. were officially in the stage one of zombie invasion where people are just going batshit crazy and taking their god given texas rights to the street and shooting everything that moves.

i dont know if theres a point for making this but uh here i am. things have gotten really really bad out there. electricity went out yesterday and i havent seen any choppers for two days. i hope yall are okay. i dont know maybe for john it was easier since hes out in the suburbs and rose youre like in the woods. i mean jade we know youre safe but still im worried for you all. 

i dont know. hopefully yall got help from the military or somebody. maybe you just found other people to survive with. maybe you had more time to get out and evacuate. 

okay lets make this official. im dave strider its december 11 2015. im stuck on the eighth floor of the Los Arcos apartments in houston texas. im making this because im bored and i want people to know what happened to me. if somebody finds this and im not here then i need you to send this to one of the three addresses that i sharpied on the back of this recorder. 

i mean lets be real. im not trying to be a pessimist but i am a fairly attractive 12 year old boy in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and my bro has fucked off to who knows where. i am alone here. 

so yeah i hope this can get to my friends or maybe my bro or maybe nobody will find this but if i cant talk to somebody im going to start climbing up the walls. 

if my friends are listening to this then i hope you guys are safe. fuck you bro.  
___

its december 13 and i finally left the apartment for the first time in a week. nobody can open up the stairwell without the residency code and im pretty sure that the elevators arent working but im not going to try to find out. 

i didnt try to see if anybody was still on this floor. there was a lot of noise in the first week but i didnt really keep up with who was trying to get out. im pretty fucking sure that the drug dealer from the end of the hall is dead since his door was broken in but i wasnt going in there to check. 

the internet is going to come back anytime soon but i hope you all are making tapes like these. maybe we can swap them when were all through with this and laugh at ourselves being scared shitless. 

ive got a good stash of weapons from the fridge and i found some fireworks in the ice machine so i think ill be okay for a while at least. i mean im not planning on actually using any of this shit but im going to keep it around just in case. protection and shit. maybe i can barter with it like “hey susan, ill trade you that Kraft Mac & Cheese for these sick ass shurikens. cmon susan you dont even eat gluten your pantry was probably full of tofu and nuts and look how that turned out for you.” 

or ill just use this all for the intended purpose of poking holes in people shaped objects. ill see where this goes. ill all probably blow over once the government or whoever gets their shit together and rolls up in their armored tanks. 

do you think theyll drop a bomb on us? they wouldnt do that would they? fuck i hope not. 

im officially spooked now so im going up on the roof. maybe bro is up there or maybe i can just stare at the sunset dramatically and listen to the wails of the undead. whatever works.  
___

the electricity was back online for two hours and holy shit it was not enough. i got a load of clothes in the washing machine and i was finally able to flush the toilet but dude i got a pester from john and that fucking goober is safe like holy shit. 

the wifi was really spotty but i was able to receive a few messages from john and rose. i mean both messages are from last week but i just feel relieved knowing that they were safe. roses mom pulled some strings and they were shipped off to some secure military base. john and his dad were evacuated. 

just. fuck. hang on i have to stop recording.  
___

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking shit on a brick i can hear something in the hallways. ive been running low on fresh water but im not desperate enough to look in bros room so i was about to go out and look through that drug dealers apartment when i hear somebody coming down the hallway. and i look through the peephole and guess who it fucking is. susan from 809 with her suburban white mom dreads and bead necklaces. 

and at first im like oh okay cool its susan i really could care less about her since im pretty sure she was racist but im going to be a cordial neighbor and see if she wants to trade some food or something -- i am so sick of cheerios you have no idea -- but when susan passes by my door i get to see that shes missing half of her fucking face. 

shit is straight up nasty and if i wasnt such a war hardened gore veteran then i would have lost my cereal right there. like i know that john is a pussy so im not going to go into too much detail but susan was fucking ripe. like its hot as satans balls outside and its not doing anything for any of those zombies outside. 

fuck you texas winter. why cant you be cold like every other state. 

but yeah susan is still out there pacing from one end of the hall to the other. i dont think she knows how to open the stairwell so she must have gotten up through the elevator when the electricity was on or something because i am not ready to admit that these fucking things may be able to rationalize .

nope. fuck that shit. were not even going to go there right now. 

i blocked the door with the cinder blocks from my turntable getup and stuffed towels all around the edges. im hoping that it somewhat sound proofs -- or smell proofs. is that a thing? -- the room from susan. 

going to wait until its night and then go out and see if any of the upstairs apartments have any febreze or some shit. maybe i can spray it on a shirt and tie it around my face. anything to block out this smell. 

aight im going to sign off for tonight. this has been me and susan are reporting live from the armpit of texas. sleep tight and dont let the fuckers bite.  
___

aight so its december twenty-something. were still in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and bro hasnt come back. i mean hes been gone for longer but usually he resets his traps whenever he happens to be in the area but i havent so much as gotten a whiff of pine hairgel and smuppet ass. 

for example. today i actually woke up on the couch and i wasnt tied up with a camera pointed in my face. fucking miracles. you know the last time that i was able to sleep on the couch? never. thats when. 

its seriously a shame too like this couch isnt some dinky goodwill couch its a legit lazyboy leather couch with the overstuffed cushions and sleeping on that couch must be what sex feels like. i shit you not i would take a sword to the chest if it meant that i could die lying on that couch. 

but yeah about bro. i feel like you guys would want be to be worrying but im really failing to do that right now. hes probably okay and just dicking around with a bunch of zombies and getting some sick footage for his website. i bet as soon as the electricity comes back hell be here uploading hours of him decapitating corpses and just raking in all the cash from people with zombie fettishes. 

i did manage to get my hands on some febreze if you all remember that. everything still smells like shit but now it also smells like cinnamon apple spice. 

rose i know youre just dying to know where the people of 712 are and why they left all of their candles and food behind and its because they all jumped out a fucking window. yeah i climbed down the fire escape and i was like “oh hey the balcony to this apartment is broken” and so i look inside and theres this guy on the carpet with his head bashed in. 

and im like “well shit thats not good” and i threw some tennis balls -- i had no idea we even owned any tennis balls but i found them underneath the couch -- at the guy but he was dead dead so i figured it was safe to go in. 

everything was in there. food and candles and batteries and a fuckton of canned goods. i grabbed what i could fit in my backpack and as i was about to go back up the fire escape i happen to look down and i see the other person who lived in 712. 

i just. i dont know if they didnt hit hard enough even though they jumped from the seventh fucking floor but i look down and there was a drag smear from where they had started dragging themselves and. in the street. theres just one zombie whos trying to crawl down the road but their hands cant drag them across asphalt. 

im too tired for this. susan is still in the halls but shes turned into a sort of white noise. i dont even notice her until she starts screaming. 

that wasnt ever in the movies. screaming zombies. like you would expect them to do that but susan will just start screaming at random times and it scares the shit out of me but even that has started to become normal to me. 

im good on food again. 712 were health nuts and im going to be eating a lot of bulk cheerios and nuts for a while. and i know beggars cant be choosers but im going to have to be really hungry if i want to eat tomato paste. 

in all this was a pretty good day. this is dave strider signing off.  
___

i climbed to the floors below this one and i found some more apartments without locked balconies. no zombies or dead bodies. the photographs are eerie as fuck though. in the beginning i was fine with them but now ive got to put them face down because its just freaky to feel these eyes staring into you as you raid their pantry you know? maybe not. its probably just me.  
___

merry christmas you guys. i dont even celebrate christmas but the calendar from apartment 710 has it marked down on here. they all had their gifts under the tree and i said “fuck it. nobody is around here to open these gifts so i may as well.” 

ill try to unwrap these quietly so you can still hear my voice. i dont even know where this family went. they may have tried to get out early but it just feels so new. i dont know if you all have experienced that yet. walking into an apartment and getting the feeling that you just missed a family walking out of the room. 

so for present number one i got a sewing kit and a new diary. it--

fuck wait. shit. hang on can you hear that theres a gun. fuck somebody is in the street. theres. no you fucking idiot no fuck youre going to fucking draw them to us i cant even. stop holy fuck! stop it!

fuck fuck fuck no oh. no why the fuck did they think that. i cant. there arent enough bullets to take care of them. there are too many and they just thought that they could go out their with guns blazing and maybe go out with some glory but. 

that fuck has literally doomed us. you cant see it but if i press you against the window i bet you can hear the sound of them coming. there are so. fucking. many of them. 

merry fucking christmas everyone.  
___

im so fucking thirsty. its too hot and opening the window just brings in that rotting smell so im just lying on my floor and trying to distract myself. i think i talked for a good three hours before i realized that the recorder wasnt even on. 

i still havent gone into bros room. im pretty sure that hes dead but even still there are some things that i just dont ever need to see. like maybe that sense of unknown would drive a person up a wall but for me its like. well i cant throw myself off the balcony yet since i havent seen whats behind bros door.” 

im like schrodinger and bros room is the box. maybe bro is behind that door and maybe hes not. maybe hes been hiding away in there and just listening to me make all these audio recordings while hes sharpening his sword collection and waiting for the prime moment to jump out and be like “surprise motherfucker i bet you thought you had seen the last of me.”

to be honest i wouldnt even care. just seeing another living person would be great. im so fuckign sick of listening to shannon moan and scream and its literally all i can hear--

hang on. wait. shit wait hold up oh my gosh its raining. oh my gosh its actually raining. thank you ricky bobby its raining. sweet baby jesus in his golden fleece diapers fresh water is coming from the sky. 

im going to have to talk to you guys later i need to get as many cups on the roof as i can.  
\---

so im sitting on the floor and eating the tomato paste out of the can. this is the last thing in the pantry and im so fucking hungry that i dont even care.

its time like these where i feel really bad for john. like how is he holding up with his nut allergy? is he doing okay? same with jade. does she have enough power? are any of the planes still flying to her? i mean i would bet my bottom dollar that she could have the world end around her and still be standing but i worry. 

fuck my throat is so raw. im not emotional im just insanely thirsty. 

you guys may be wondering how thirsty i am and ill tell you. i broke into an unused apartment by using tape and a heavy bookend from apartment 716. then i went to the bathroom and drank the water from their toilet. 

i drank fucking toilet water and im still thirsty. i would kill for apple juice right now. just ice cold apple juice and a bag of fritos. thats all i want right now. 

you know one of the good things about the zombie apocalypse? i dont have to wear a shirt. like seriously ive been wandering around without my binder on and a pair of boxers. its too warm to wear anything else.  
___

i think this is going to be my last entry. i mean i cant say for sure but im out of food and even susan has flown out of here. i still dont know if bro is behind his door or if theres anybody in the building or what ever happened to you guys but im just going to lie on this couch and take a fucking nap. 

i havent been able to sleep thanks to all the zombies outside. its that constant white noise of moaning and screaming that just makes you want to go out on the balcony and scream back or do something to make them all shut up and. 

fuck. im just so tired. i dont have the strength to get off this couch or do anything but whine into this microphone. maybe i should have been like bro and gotten out of here when i could. or maybe i could have packed up a bag and at least tried to get out of the city. 

to whoever is listening to this. yo. my name is dave strider and its february 1 2016. i have a diary full of shitty poetry hidden under my mattress and theres a bunch of weapons in my fridge. i really dont feel like dying but i dont want to be a zombie either and i guess if i had to choose a way to die then it would be on this couch. 

anyway. tell my friends that im sorry for being such an asshole. or maybe ill be able to tell them. who knows. ill be kicking it in nirvana or something with buddha and korean jesus. 

shit im still rambling arent i. fuck. im just going to turn this thing of now.

**Author's Note:**

> I went through so many different drafts for this story it's not even funny. Like one second I wanted to have Dave trying to play hero and fighting the zombies, and then I wanted him to find bro dead on the roof, then I wanted to Dave to just cut off in the middle of a broadcast, and I wanted to do so much with this idea but this is what I ended up being happy with. 
> 
> Thanks to allofthemeadows and pix-m-q on tumblr for giving me the confidence to keep writing even though these were a really hard few months for me. Also, thank you to Mogseltof for being a pretty nifty secret santa. I wish I could have written you more (and I might in the future because you were super nice). 
> 
> Also would you believe that I am incredibly uncomfortable with dropping the f-bomb? This whole thing was a serious test of how immersed I could get in my character so that I didn't freak out over swearing. 
> 
> Okay I'm done here. Thank you for reading my obligatory zombie fanfiction (every author writes at least one) and I hope you all have a very happy holidays.
> 
> (tumblr is at adminchamomile.tumblr.com)


End file.
